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Pisser
Notches 2nd Last Sunday brought
a welcome return to Combination football for the Dale, after their long
absence, and hence a welcome return to decent match reports after some
Police tedium. Ossy were
the visitors after a short trip over the Cleveland Hills from Gadgietown,
renewing what has become a fierce rivalry over the past two seasons. Preparations were
short and shrift for Shirt, with only 12 fit players to choose from, due
to Mutzy’s knee injury resurfacing, Buddha’s repetitive strain wrist
damage, and Kanu, Tac and Sonner out with glass backs.
Turbo being the oldest man left got the cup-of-tea game at
sweeper, with Pisser reinstalled in the centre, left Lewy and Force to
lead the line, with the youthful exuberance of Bernard and Simo out
wide. Shirt was less than
impressed to see the effects of tarting the night before on some of the
players, remarking that “that lass Merilyn, or whatever she’s
called, she’s having a bad effect on Hunty!”. The game was only
10 minutes old when Pisser, still on a high after celebrating getting it
hard for the first time, slotted home from the edge of the area. The Dale faithful were left disappointed by the absence of a
Bebeto-style “cradle” celebration however.
After waiting 27 years, two notches in a week was a lot to take
in for the lad, the emotion overcoming him and steaming up his contacts,
causing him to go AWOL for the remaining 80 minutes.
Chances were plentiful in this first period, with Mogga for Ossy
blazing over an open goal, and the Force lobbing wide for Dale.
Both sides could take heat from a hectic first half, as it ended 1-0
Dale. Ossy came out
firing for the second half and equalised following a scramble from a
limp-wristed corner, Micky the Domo forcing the ball over the line.
Dale were quick to come back into it, with fine work from Simo
down the left causing the ball to land at the feet of Force, who smashed
home, celebrating with a trademark cupped ear to the sheep. Ossy were by no means done yet though, and a penalty was
awarded when Bo committed an uncharacteristic foul, which was slotted
home by Micky for his second, duly celebrated with a pint of Ayingerbräu
in the Ironopolis, probably. Dale
nearly retook the lead when a Gringo through ball to Lewy heralded a
great save from the Ossy keeper onto the post. However the game
changing moment was still to come, following an innocuous offside
decision, Clem decided to respond to Micky’s offer of a pint in the
Captain Cook by kicking him on the shin, apparently a retort to being
kicked up the arse in the first half.
No choice for the ref, and Kildale’s first red of the season
for a playing member! This
event allowed Shirt to pull off a tactical masterstroke, replacing Clem
with Gringo, and introducing Hunty for Force as a moustachioed Mark
Hately-like target man, to form a Quinn-Phillips partnership with Lewy.
The effect was immediate, Swerve winning a flick for Lewy to race
onto, round the keeper and score Dale’s 3rd. A long punt forward
allowed Lewy to bag his second, lobbing the keeper superbly and making
the game almost safe. Ossy
were not done yet though, and from another corner, taken by their
specialist as its gives him a chance not to miss the ball, Big Jeff,
unsurprisingly unmarked nodded home, thwarting Gringo’s earlier
heroics. With time running
out though, Ossy were unable to get any closer, leaving Dale to take a
hard-earned 4-3 win, and extend their soon-to-be-overturned lead at the
top. M.O.M.
Kildale – Paul Clements (despite red card – nice one)
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